Thursday, October 24, 2013

Many of us, most "all" of us want to recieve, as well as give love to and from others. We "believe" that we have recieved, as well as given love. I have cared for others in the health field, as well as doing for others in employment even. From being a cashier, to being a maid, I have enjoyed doing for others. Being a Certified Nurse Assistant, caring for others when they are ill, even to the last season before they pass away, it has been fulfilling to me to care for others. This season we have come into, so many are facing that which they havent seen, felt or even recognized before. Seeing truth(s) they havent discerned or seen before. May I??? My "truth(s) are the fact that I dont know what having a dad/daughter relationship is like, except the ugly side of it. In my case the only recognition in this relationship was ugly, getting ugly discipline. As an infant being abandoned both by my dad and mom. Then being adopted, mostly only getting attention when it came to getting discipline. I dont have any memories of love from my adoptive dad. Also my adoptive dad (Bill), died when i was 11. My mom and brother moved to San Diego, and settled in. I graduated high school, as well as my brother before 1980. I married in 1979 and had 3 pregnancies that led to 3 births of boys before 2000. My mom passed away in 2002 I believe. Its been about 10 years and this last year, well God has shown me that I have since infancy had walls up preventing love to penetrate me. My adoptive mom certainly loved me, and as well as my husband, and some friends. I havent any family (uncles, cousins, etc), but do have family (in laws, etc). Let me stop and share, my daughter in law is the daughter that i never wanted to have, and so LOVE HER, greatly! I never wanted a girl, thinking she would be ugh, like me and all the emotions females have. Ok, back to the love.............. God has shown me, and I am letting the wall(s) down ever so much this year and season. I am "seeing", "feeling" etc, that i havent let God nor anyone ever love me the way L O V E, is intended to be accepted. I have always love "to do", for others, and hadnt realized how hard it is for me to recieve, to truly recieve from others. I also dont and have'nt accepted alot from others,including the Lord and when I have, it has been ever so superficial. This is the season for breakthrough for ever so many of us. The area(s), where we havent had success. If indeed you have accepted Gods gift of His Son, and havent had breakthrough, you will as you pay attention to the dreams you have. Write the dreams down, let the emotion(s) you havent let surface, surface. Let change happen. I call it shifting. This is a season of just that: S H I F T I N G. What you havent done before, DO. What you didnt like doing before, well DO. Write down your dreams. Many of us, wont let others pray for us, now its time to let others pray for you. We all have things that we just wont accept, now it a time of accepting. If you have always recieved, G I V E. If you have always given, R E C I E V E. If you are willing to change, you will have your breakthrough.

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