How can I begin?

I have so much going through my brain, soul, and have had to just slow down, be still and not only KNOW HE IS GOD, but actually stopping, yes just for over an hour, but i actually fell asleep. I KNOW that needs  to be done more often. I nearly abhor slowing down, but every time i do, GOD IS THERE.  So openly, i am sorry, i repent for it.  I don't discern God's anger, actually I discern, His pleasure in me, and that I am trying, that I haven't given up. HE knows, KNOWS, my heart. He knows the way I take, and when as an artist I have posted where showing my work (photography, paintings, book, greeting cards), I have typed, spoken, MY name is Nicole and my daddy, DADDY GOD, named me.  Nicole mean victory, victorious one.....  I am over 50 years of age, and growing up NICOLE was no one else's name. I was the only Nicole for nearly 30 years of this earthly life of mine, that i ever heard of. I found out by christian's, and non-christian's both that Nicole means Victory of the people, and just ever so many facets of victory. THEN after that i found in christian book stores, and then in the last 10 years on christian web-sites, so often the verse that is given with the name is Job 23:10-11.  The Lord has had me go and read and declare/proclaim the entire thought there of Job, which is verse 8-12.  But even the Lord has shown me, that i don't even realize how much i have come through that many other very well could and have killed themselves. I am sooooooo, SOOO, aware of  HIS strength that has kept me afloat, above that which could have consumed me.  This season it has become  aware as well to me, that as i keep going, keep seeking HIM, keep holding fast to HIS path...... I will be 100% delivered of that which has been revealed to me.  Below i have added links to Charles H. Kraft and his ministry, for as i have humbled myself, i have found out, stuff that last year, i really didn't understand or even believe.  Don't be so stubborn and say, OH I DON'T believe that. Of course ask the Lord, and there WILL be times, you are not to change your beliefs, but wow, i didn't ever know christian's could be demonized, possessed. My church didn't know what to do with me, and though the ugh isn't out of me yet, God has directed me, has spoken to my spiritual man, and even given me a dream, well several dreams to greatly encourage me. Of course there were dreams of correction too. I will share more next time.....   I could share ever so more now, but discern to every time there is focal point, to everything there is a season...
Thank you and surely keep me in prayer. HE has never let me go, and one of my weakest points has been to be patient. SHALOM to you  Nicole Ramirez

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_H._Kraft

http://www.fuller.edu/academics/faculty/charles-kraft.aspx

http://www.heartssetfree.org/