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Introducing Nicole Ramirez
Hello my name is Nicole and it mean victory of the people, victorious one, and it origin is from Greece.
I am a photographer, author, as well as an artist. This is my first posting here in my blog, and over the next season, i will share from several different subjects so as to encourage you.  One goal I have and intend to accomplish is to share the trials, traumas, and just hard times that i have come through, that i made it this far and you can too.
So, let me start with as i said above....  My name is Nicole. I am adopted and found out as i was raised by my adoptive parents, that my name was given to my by my biological dad. I was born in the 50's, and even though now in the 21st century, when i was growing up there was not one other Nicole i even met, heard of, be it in my life or on television. I never heard the name Nicole anywhere at all.
I was raised by Mr & Mrs Stickler, my adoptive parents, and they adopted another kid, this time a boy, and now i had a brother. We moved ever so much and so i never really got established in a neighborhood, all but for once. 
My dad acquired cancer and died of it when i was 11. We moved back to Pennsylvania, so he could say goodbye to his blood family before he died. After his death we came back to California, and settled in
San Diego County, the home of my moms sister.  We settled in an rural area of the Eastern County, and we stayed in one place, and it was nice to go to one school my entire high school years.
Of course i saw some cute looking guys, and sorta would follow them around. Another guy became aware of me, especially as i started to go to sports events to take pictures. I decided to take photography, for i needed credits to graduate, and that seemed different and maybe fun.  By the end of my junior year, i started dating this guy who was watching me. He graduated that year and 2 years later i then graduated.  He then moved and got his own apartment and i invited myself to move in. Within several months a very good friend of mine, had a dream, and because of the dream, she begged me to watch Billy Graham crusade that weekend on the t.v. (i had gone to his crusades growing up, and watched his crusades lots of times).  So the weekend came and it was December of 1977. I watched the crusade and ended up curled up on the floor crying at the end when the invitation to accept Christ was given. Well that very night, i couldn't go to bed with my boyfriend, i just KNEW it was not good anymore. So i slept in the walk in closet. Within the next week, i moved home with my mom. (she now only had a one bedroom apartment, and my brother had left home).  Within several months my boyfriend whose name was Charles, well he came to invite me out on a date once again, and shared with me he was saved now.  Within 5 months i was engaged, and we got married in June 1979.
I got pregnant nearly immediately and had a son in June of 1980 and named him charles as well. I now called my husband Charlie. The next 20 years were basically 2 more kids, who were boys, and several apartments too.
In 2002 my mom died, and within a year i started looking for my birth mom.  It was (I think) in 2005 that i found my birth dad. I found him for i had always known we had the new paper article in which it was shared the details of my situation..........
Details will be given in the next posting on my blog...........

Monday, November 18, 2013

Who am I?

Honestly, I don't even know where to start this post............. Well, let's start with the sunrise. As the sun rose, I reflected on the night which was a breakthrough for me, and this is why! For several years I have awoken several times nearly EVERY NIGHT. I rarely sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. So I tend to go to bed early 8am or before, and get up oh maybe at 6- 8 am. In bed for maybe 10-12 hours and get maybe 6 hours of sleep. Of course there were many a night it was only about 4 hours or so. Now I love (for whatever reason) to make lists. I love to check things of a list as well. Soooo, as I got out my bird field guide, I was looking up a bird and ran across the check off list I have used in the back and just pondered, browsed the list of winged beauty that I had gotten to see one or more times. SOOO, that led to getting out my diaries of the years past to see what birds I saw when visiting other states, and that led to finding the FIRST journal/diary I started back in 1977 when I got saved. I started reading and saw the NICOLE (Nikki) back then. I read how much I loved my mom. Honestly in these last years, I keep reflecting on how much I didn't love her. So now am in a quandary. Yes I really did love her, but yes, could have done better at showing it. I have nearly 2 dozen journals and anticipate that over this next week, I am going to take my time, read them and learn about NICOLE. This might sound strange, but know it is good, I am also beginning to love myself. I am enjoying looking in the mirror. I am discerning that GOD is proud of me. I can see my angel, or angles doing High Fives in regards to my choices. AND can FEEL GOD'S love, honestly for the first time in my life in these last few months/weeks. Hey, I have been saved for over 30years. One posting in my diary/journal was about 5 months after I was saved, and my entry was this: Wednesday July 5th 1978 Yesterday I was born again. IT FEELS WONDERFUL to know I am going to heaven. Ye who believes on the Son hath everlasting life and I believe Amen YES! PRAISE THE LORD!! So this is a short posting, and I declare that this season I have come into, I am going to learn what my characteristics of NICOLE NANETTE are and what are not and let those go. What qualities that I have are on GOD'S CANVAS, and what are not and purge them. Never felt these feelings ever. Funny thing is, who is going to stay in my life and who will fly south. Most of my friends, honestly have left me, not knowing really what to do with me as I went and am going through such a deep, DEEP HEALING. It's my husband who has seen it all, and even I wasn't there to see what manifestations that I won't even share. So he is my best friend, next to ABBA. I love you CHARLIE!

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