It is very hard to describe the fact of being someone all your life, and that person isn't you. To live under a false identity is sort of hard to explain. Over the last few years, well I have had new senses come to birth. Especially this month and this week especially my senses have certainly changed/intensified beyond description. I honestly am amazed that I am even alive from what I have come through without emotion. For now simple joy is astronomically intense to me. Simple sorrow feels like someone has died. This blog post is a spiritual step of faith and obedience and I know many are having their BREAKTHROUGH of a lifetime as well this month/week/season. ABBA, I pray that I will take the time to get to know myself in a new way, and accept, love, and enjoy myself. Thank you especially for the little goldfinches that YOU SENT to my yard this last week. That was and is such a wonderful present!!! They have been all over the yard, and sitting in the ~~~~Blue Potato Bush Royal Robe (Solanum rantonnetii), inches from my office window, just peering in at me. So wonderfully accepted from YOU. So I declare the old Nicole is gone, and the Nicole You created is Alive and getting stronger as days proceed.
- Introducing Nicole RamirezHello my name is Nicole and it mean victory of the people, victorious one, and it origin is from Greece.
I am a photographer, author, as well as an artist. This is my first posting here in my blog, and over the next season, i will share from several different subjects so as to encourage you. One goal I have and intend to accomplish is to share the trials, traumas, and just hard times that i have come through, that i made it this far and you can too.
So, let me start with as i said above.... My name is Nicole. I am adopted and found out as i was raised by my adoptive parents, that my name was given to my by my biological dad. I was born in the 50's, and even though now in the 21st century, when i was growing up there was not one other Nicole i even met, heard of, be it in my life or on television. I never heard the name Nicole anywhere at all.
I was raised by Mr & Mrs Stickler, my adoptive parents, and they adopted another kid, this time a boy, and now i had a brother. We moved ever so much and so i never really got established in a neighborhood, all but for once.
My dad acquired cancer and died of it when i was 11. We moved back to Pennsylvania, so he could say goodbye to his blood family before he died. After his death we came back to California, and settled in
San Diego County, the home of my moms sister. We settled in an rural area of the Eastern County, and we stayed in one place, and it was nice to go to one school my entire high school years.
Of course i saw some cute looking guys, and sorta would follow them around. Another guy became aware of me, especially as i started to go to sports events to take pictures. I decided to take photography, for i needed credits to graduate, and that seemed different and maybe fun. By the end of my junior year, i started dating this guy who was watching me. He graduated that year and 2 years later i then graduated. He then moved and got his own apartment and i invited myself to move in. Within several months a very good friend of mine, had a dream, and because of the dream, she begged me to watch Billy Graham crusade that weekend on the t.v. (i had gone to his crusades growing up, and watched his crusades lots of times). So the weekend came and it was December of 1977. I watched the crusade and ended up curled up on the floor crying at the end when the invitation to accept Christ was given. Well that very night, i couldn't go to bed with my boyfriend, i just KNEW it was not good anymore. So i slept in the walk in closet. Within the next week, i moved home with my mom. (she now only had a one bedroom apartment, and my brother had left home). Within several months my boyfriend whose name was Charles, well he came to invite me out on a date once again, and shared with me he was saved now. Within 5 months i was engaged, and we got married in June 1979.
I got pregnant nearly immediately and had a son in June of 1980 and named him charles as well. I now called my husband Charlie. The next 20 years were basically 2 more kids, who were boys, and several apartments too.
In 2002 my mom died, and within a year i started looking for my birth mom. It was (I think) in 2005 that i found my birth dad. I found him for i had always known we had the new paper article in which it was shared the details of my situation..........
Details will be given in the next posting on my blog...........