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Introducing Nicole Ramirez
Hello my name is Nicole and it mean victory of the people, victorious one, and it origin is from Greece.
I am a photographer, author, as well as an artist. This is my first posting here in my blog, and over the next season, i will share from several different subjects so as to encourage you.  One goal I have and intend to accomplish is to share the trials, traumas, and just hard times that i have come through, that i made it this far and you can too.
So, let me start with as i said above....  My name is Nicole. I am adopted and found out as i was raised by my adoptive parents, that my name was given to my by my biological dad. I was born in the 50's, and even though now in the 21st century, when i was growing up there was not one other Nicole i even met, heard of, be it in my life or on television. I never heard the name Nicole anywhere at all.
I was raised by Mr & Mrs Stickler, my adoptive parents, and they adopted another kid, this time a boy, and now i had a brother. We moved ever so much and so i never really got established in a neighborhood, all but for once. 
My dad acquired cancer and died of it when i was 11. We moved back to Pennsylvania, so he could say goodbye to his blood family before he died. After his death we came back to California, and settled in
San Diego County, the home of my moms sister.  We settled in an rural area of the Eastern County, and we stayed in one place, and it was nice to go to one school my entire high school years.
Of course i saw some cute looking guys, and sorta would follow them around. Another guy became aware of me, especially as i started to go to sports events to take pictures. I decided to take photography, for i needed credits to graduate, and that seemed different and maybe fun.  By the end of my junior year, i started dating this guy who was watching me. He graduated that year and 2 years later i then graduated.  He then moved and got his own apartment and i invited myself to move in. Within several months a very good friend of mine, had a dream, and because of the dream, she begged me to watch Billy Graham crusade that weekend on the t.v. (i had gone to his crusades growing up, and watched his crusades lots of times).  So the weekend came and it was December of 1977. I watched the crusade and ended up curled up on the floor crying at the end when the invitation to accept Christ was given. Well that very night, i couldn't go to bed with my boyfriend, i just KNEW it was not good anymore. So i slept in the walk in closet. Within the next week, i moved home with my mom. (she now only had a one bedroom apartment, and my brother had left home).  Within several months my boyfriend whose name was Charles, well he came to invite me out on a date once again, and shared with me he was saved now.  Within 5 months i was engaged, and we got married in June 1979.
I got pregnant nearly immediately and had a son in June of 1980 and named him charles as well. I now called my husband Charlie. The next 20 years were basically 2 more kids, who were boys, and several apartments too.
In 2002 my mom died, and within a year i started looking for my birth mom.  It was (I think) in 2005 that i found my birth dad. I found him for i had always known we had the new paper article in which it was shared the details of my situation..........
Details will be given in the next posting on my blog...........


Thursday, October 24, 2013

Many of us, most "all" of us want to recieve, as well as give love to and from others. We "believe" that we have recieved, as well as given love. I have cared for others in the health field, as well as doing for others in employment even. From being a cashier, to being a maid, I have enjoyed doing for others. Being a Certified Nurse Assistant, caring for others when they are ill, even to the last season before they pass away, it has been fulfilling to me to care for others. This season we have come into, so many are facing that which they havent seen, felt or even recognized before. Seeing truth(s) they havent discerned or seen before. May I??? My "truth(s) are the fact that I dont know what having a dad/daughter relationship is like, except the ugly side of it. In my case the only recognition in this relationship was ugly, getting ugly discipline. As an infant being abandoned both by my dad and mom. Then being adopted, mostly only getting attention when it came to getting discipline. I dont have any memories of love from my adoptive dad. Also my adoptive dad (Bill), died when i was 11. My mom and brother moved to San Diego, and settled in. I graduated high school, as well as my brother before 1980. I married in 1979 and had 3 pregnancies that led to 3 births of boys before 2000. My mom passed away in 2002 I believe. Its been about 10 years and this last year, well God has shown me that I have since infancy had walls up preventing love to penetrate me. My adoptive mom certainly loved me, and as well as my husband, and some friends. I havent any family (uncles, cousins, etc), but do have family (in laws, etc). Let me stop and share, my daughter in law is the daughter that i never wanted to have, and so LOVE HER, greatly! I never wanted a girl, thinking she would be ugh, like me and all the emotions females have. Ok, back to the love.............. God has shown me, and I am letting the wall(s) down ever so much this year and season. I am "seeing", "feeling" etc, that i havent let God nor anyone ever love me the way L O V E, is intended to be accepted. I have always love "to do", for others, and hadnt realized how hard it is for me to recieve, to truly recieve from others. I also dont and have'nt accepted alot from others,including the Lord and when I have, it has been ever so superficial. This is the season for breakthrough for ever so many of us. The area(s), where we havent had success. If indeed you have accepted Gods gift of His Son, and havent had breakthrough, you will as you pay attention to the dreams you have. Write the dreams down, let the emotion(s) you havent let surface, surface. Let change happen. I call it shifting. This is a season of just that: S H I F T I N G. What you havent done before, DO. What you didnt like doing before, well DO. Write down your dreams. Many of us, wont let others pray for us, now its time to let others pray for you. We all have things that we just wont accept, now it a time of accepting. If you have always recieved, G I V E. If you have always given, R E C I E V E. If you are willing to change, you will have your breakthrough.

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